No one can say the contrary. A child is a gift. And a healthy parenting is all about helping your children address their life’s challenges the best way possible. However, there are 9 things you should stop saying to your child in order to achieve this important goal.
1. Why Can’t You Be More Like Your Brother or Sister?
Parents have to understand that children are different. Even if you raise them in the same way and in the same environment. There are so many factors that influence a child. Especially for siblings, it feels very inappropriate to say “Why Can’t You Be Like Your other brother or sister?” said Julie K. Nelson, author of “Parenting With Spiritual Power,” and professor at Utah Valley University. Because with such harmful comparison the kid will feel unloved and unappreciated. And this can potentially affect the family unit.
2. Wait When Your Father Come Back
Sometimes when kids do wrong things we used to say such statement. By saying that, it may dilute the child’s discipline. Because waiting for someone else to get something done, just undermines your authority. And your child may tell himself “Why should I listen to my mother if she is not able to do it?” The best way to deal with that is to take care of a situation immediately yourself.
3. Why Are You So Stupid?
If you really want your children to think for themselves, build self-confidence, and develop powerful decision-making skills you should definitely avoid telling them they are “stupid”. Because they will be ashamed of expressing their thought and opinions. So experts say that one of the best ways of learning is by making mistakes and learn from them.
4. You Did Great But…
When a compliment is immediately followed by a ‘but’, it places the focus on the negative instead of the positive. All the positive reinforcement, self-esteem boost, and motivation gained from the compliment are lost as soon as ‘but’ is uttered,” explains Adelle Cadieux, a pediatric psychologist at Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital.
5. Why Are You Are So Selfish?
By overusing this statement, you are just teaching your child how to deny his own needs and himself. At this stage of life is very inappropriate to tell such phrases. “Most people lose themselves in childhood and spend the rest of their life trying to find it” say, Experts.
6. Those Are My Rules Since You Are In My House
Threaten your kids to such manner is a terrible idea on many levels. Because it will either frighten your child and disturb them emotionally, or your child will say ‘Good!’ and welcome any opportunity to leave.
7. Good Job
From the outside, this seems like a compliment. But it is one of the worst ways of praising your child according to Dr. Jym Taylor in “Psychology Today”. He says doing so, will hurt your children’s development.
8. I Was Raised This Way
Your parent’s raising style is just a guide for you. However, that doesn’t mean, it’s perfect. When it comes to parenting, it’s crucial to understand the needs of your child and then raise them accordingly, revealed a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology.
9. Let Me Help
Sometimes when we see our child struggling in doing something we tend to give him a hand. Which is natural and normal, but we should not exaggerate. Because always saying “let me help you” may jeopardize your kid’s independence. He will always look for help from others. Experts highly recommended asking guiding questions in order to help them solve the problem themselves.
Written By Famio Services Team